The Jackalicious Files

has gotten away from me and most certainly with my blog. I'm in my final months of College and my major has me writing a whole lot more than normal. Furthermore, I write in my own time and the blog was supposed to be a way to kill time. It's all changed now and with school alone I write and research for about 3 essays a week and have to read a very diverse range of topics that keep me rather occupied. Other than spending time with my significant other, I'm trying to restore my Bug...there just isn't enough time in the day.

Speaking of my Bug, I need to get some of the photographs uploaded and show some of progress I've made. I have it completely gutted now and discovered a horrendous amount of rust clean through the pan and rear luggage shelf. At first I thought it was just a portion of the rear luggage area but it turns out the entire rear of the car has to be replace! ;( While it's not that hard of a job if you have the tools and time, it's a big headache and one more expense I didn't care to have.

News! Okay, let's see what else is happening. Well, unless you've been living under a rock I'm sure you've read where the President of these United States got a 'shellacking' (his words, not mine). Wow, I never seen so many mad old folks in my life at the polls. Saw wonderful signs everywhere too...one of my favorites was, "Don't mess with my Medicare - stop the socialist!" and the list goes on.

Okay folks keep asking me, "Jack, what's up with these stupid facts!? Okay, Just for laughs, I've come up with a list of 'facts'. I initially dreamed them up as a daily Twitter post for fun. There were supposed to be just fake facts to be put in a pamphlet with other comedic style fictional stories - sometimes for fun I'll throw my name in. Move over Chuck Norris.

Okay, the 'Facts'.

It's a fact: This fact contains text known to the State of California to cause cancer.

It's a fact: Barack Hussein Obama's father wanted to give him his grandfather's first name of "Yomomma" but his mother protested.

It's a fact: Webster purposely misspelled words in his dictionary just for fun. Even on his deathbed he didn't' reveal which words.

It's a fact: Zombies can't differentiate between themselves and Pelosi speak. So, if ever caught in a Zombie crisis, you can easily get away by walking slow, crooked and all the while quoting speeches by House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi.

It's a fact: If you have ingested any vegetable, in time you will eventually die.

It's a fact: Those with 'innie' belly buttons have a higher IQ than those who do not have a belly button at all.

It's a fact: Chimpanzees don't like the Kansas City Police department (really!).

It's a fact: Michael Myers is real and lives in Key West, Florida. He's retired now and plays shuffle board after 3pm.

It's a fact: Ivan The Terrible was actually, "Ivan The Awesome! but historians just wrote it down wrong (Okay, this time I'm not kidding).

It's a fact: "Rawr" is really translated as "I want a happy meal!" in monster language.

It's a fact: Genghis Khan's real name was Lavergne J. Reynolds but after consulting his wise advisors, he changed it to what we know today to sound more menacing when he invaded a country.

It's a fact: Nachos are the official food for the midget wrestling league of Papua New Guinea.

It's a fact: When a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, it says, "Whoopsie daisy!"

It's a fact: Gorillas can really speak and can actually speak fluent Bulgarian. However, they choose not to because they can get more bananas for dumb tricks.

It's a fact: Female Ninjas make my favorite sandwich with silence and then they just disappear.